5 reasons to stop proving yourself to everyone else

16th September 2017

Only a woman who is unsure of her position tries to prove herself. Whats understood does not need to be explained. I’m never oblivious to reality, playing it cool doesn’t mean playing the fool. It just shows I’m in control of the situation. After all a Queen never comes off her throne to address a Peasant!!–Unknown

There are many times we are caught up and get expended trying to show the world how flawless we are. We get too busy trying to please people around us in hope that we get accepted or liked. To make up for our blemishes we are ever proving ourselves, seeking for validation from other people instead of pulling our weight and improving ourselves —wrong turn indeed, that is just crazy.

Unknown to many, its rather foolhardy to go about sweeping inadequacies and imperfections under the carpet because that is what makes you different, unique and authentic.

It’s only when you are lacking, of low self esteem and with no regard to your worth, that you are further blinded by other people’s opinions. Being preoccupied and driven by the thought, the attempt or the actual desire to prove yourself to anyone is scandalous and totally unacceptable.

When you know your worth, your talents, capabilities, you embrace yourself and never battle with some imposed identities or what others want you to be.  You know where you stand; you know who you are and what you are about.

There is barely any need to prove anything to anyone for these very reasons;

• Those around want you to be you

Just because you don’t fit in doesnt mean you have to put on a show keeping up appearances. It is tedious to keep up donning a mask that doesn’t reflect your individuality so you can be liked.

Even a relationship is bound to fail if you sugar coat your imperfections. You don’t want to over sell yourself and present an image of something you are not—the end is always tragic.

If you think about it, its better to lose people who can’t stand your short-comings and remain with those that truly love and respect you. When you are surrounded by right people they will not judge or push you about, they take you as you are, for who you truly are.

Such people will not expect you to change anything about you for anyone, they wont bear the thought of you losing your identity, your vibes or your demeanour. They would genuinely guide, protect your interest and encourage you to develop where you are lacking but never bait you into proving anything to them.

• You hold the secret code to what is best for you

When it comes to what is best for you, there is no left or right -only you are the master, the custodian and the bearer of the choice. You own the password to the secret code.

Yet as if they know you better, some people are always quick to make your life their business by churning out never ending comments and remarks especially when you make mistakes.

After all, don’t we all have quirks? Don’t be surprised to notice that people who are quick to pass comments are insecure about a particular thing and only choose to project it on you. There is no need to put weight on their 2 cents opinions especially the negative ones. If you get a chance, just ask them to shove their 2 cents opinions up their a**. Focusing on such opinions will consume you and send you in the “l have to prove them wrong” mode.

Who best knows what your abilities are? Your capabilities are not as defined by others -they can only say what they think. You on the other hand have the first hand information of what you can deliver on. You know yourself better, you are either up to the task or not, you are either competent or not. There is no one who can understand your abilities, competencies and skills more than you so you need to walk your path confidently. Never hesitate to take on the necessarily steps because only you understand your goals, dreams, and vision better.

Let your inquisitiveness and drive to improve but not prove yourself motivate you to take on new opportunities to learn new things, skills, new ways. You know where you are lacking-you know areas that need strengthening.

When you are confident with who you are and about you never get distracted by views from others but can learn from past mistakes and experiences. Remain resolute, focused, determined despite any downfalls-pick yourself up and keep going.

There should never be any need to compare to someone’s journey because each one is different. Drawing yourself into unhealthy competition will drive you insane. Be on guard and never let anyone else’s accomplishments, doubts, or failures hold you from getting the best you deserve.

• Change comes from within You

Whether you are at the rock bottom or on top of your game, whether you are in a negative or positive situation-you are the boss lady in charge of you today, tomorrow and the future. I can’t stress enough that you have the privilege to make choices for where you want to be and how you can change your situation.

Sentiments never come short especially when you are in a difficult place. Its up to you to take a measured approach and filter valuable advice. Never jump on every opinion that presents itself. Some of these suggestions can dig you further-so make it a point to discard them at cost.

Have a new approach; don’t let people’s opinions interfere with any of the changes you are implementing in your life. Always learn from your mistakes, take note of where you were yesterday and set on growth goals that make you reach your best.

You don’t have to change who you are and should never allow anyone to live under your skin. The only change that you can take on is one that improves you from what you were yesterday- but never change so you can be liked.

• You can’t please everyone

It’s a tall task to please everyone-people are never happy, sad or joyous about the same things. Its unthinkable and burdensome to please all people. It takes a lot of energy and a change in your identity to be liked by all people otherwise you risk running yourself down. When you pre-occupy yourself with being a darling, you end up forgetting the most important person to love and please—YOU and only YOU.

You can’t say No because you want to be liked, you want to prove you are of some worth to people who hardly give a sh**. Instead stand true to who you are and remain authentic instead of painting a false image and being a good for nothing darling. A no has its place in your life so has a yes. Don’t go about life trying to make everyone happy at your expense.

• Never Mind the Society

With social media, it seems appearance is now everything leaving most people to think that we have to get out there and prove ourselves.  More and more people are concerned with how they are perceived by the rest of the world –proving that they are having the time of their lives.

You notice there are people who are now more caught up trying to have more people like and accept them-they are ever trying to prove their worth.

I am sure you have seen people going to the extend of  photo-shopping their pictures just to be seen as great-Someone joked how the same peoples’ appearances are brushed up on Instagram but yet so  different on facebook—the pressure!!!

Do not be hoodwinked by the notion that your worthy is based on how others look and view you. You have so much more to offer than just being identified as part of a group, you are great and wonderful just the way you are.

It doesn’t matter who is touting you, these kinds of people will put you on a false pedestal but the moment you fall, they are the first to knock your esteem and confidence. Don’t set yourself for unnecessary failure, bruising your esteem and confidence in the process-its not worth it—you are too special for that crap!!!

In the end spending your life seeking for some sort of acceptance or validations chains you to a path that clearly isn’t yours to follow. If anything, you are more than obliged to live and follow your own set of standards or expectations. Mind you the very people you are entrusting with directing your life aren’t even sure of the steps they need to take to accomplish theirs. Be prepared to take risks and discover what is best for you. Who else is more knowledgeable about your capabilities, traits or fears better than you? Harness the power in you and unleash your very best.You have nothing to prove to anyone. You owe it to yourself to stand out and shine. Your standards and achievements can actually lift those around you so stop proving yourself and aim higher.

When you no longer need to prove anything to anyone and can simply be yourself with no apologies –You have arrived—Nikkia